why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
