Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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