Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the day after is always just damage control
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
