what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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