I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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