So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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