I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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