Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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