i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
