Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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