I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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