i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize