i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
