Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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