i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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