Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
