drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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