flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
