i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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