My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
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I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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