I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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