It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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