I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
