Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
