he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
