On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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