Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
