i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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