At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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