roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize