Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
