Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
