Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
