Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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