There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure