Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith