We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
