these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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