They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
