Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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