Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize