Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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