covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
