I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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