how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize