it was like eating out sand paper
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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