Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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