drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
