you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize