Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
