No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
