so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
