Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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