her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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