I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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