Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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