You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
