im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
