we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize