Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
